你的「停車場」（ていしゃば）毋是我的「停車場」（thîng-tshia-tiûnn）

翻譯學有一个詞叫做「假朋友」（false friend），意思是講兩个無仝語言的詞看起來sio-siâng，其實意思差足濟。

譬如講，袂曉日語的台語人看著「金玉」（きんたま），可能會想著「黃金佮玉石一類的金銀財寶」。

毋過，日本人看著這个漢字詞，會想著「𡳞脬」（lān-pha）抑是「𡳞核」（lān-hu̍t）哩。

按呢逐家就知影，為啥物日本人來台灣看著「金玉堂」會驚一趒。

最近咧翻『人間失格』，翻著一句：「自分は東北の田舎に生れましたので、汽車をはじめて見たのは、よほど大きくなってからでした。自分は停車場のブリッジを、上って、降りて…」。

檢查家己的翻譯的時，我想講這个停車場的「ブリッジ」到底是啥物橋；幾若十冬前日本的停車場，應該佮這馬無仝hōng？

查落去，發現不得了，日語的「停車場」是唸做「ていしゃば」，而且根本毋是停汽車的所在，是火車啊啊啊啊啊。

我才想著，現代日語的停車場是「駐車場」（ちゅうしゃじょう），而且「汽車」（きしゃ）是「火車」（hué-tshia）的意思。明明（N冬前）有學過，竟然袂記矣。

交朋友，愛注意啊！

叫你莫講台語的台語人

昨昏去一間台灣料理，我佇櫃台用台語點菜。

我知影賣台灣料理的人無一定講台語。若是用台語點菜，我一定那講那比（菜單），一項一項講。等店員一項記起來（筆抑是手停落來），我才閣講後一項。若是店員真正毋知影按怎服務，我就會放棄，但是大部份攏無問題。

顧櫃台的是一个少年家，聽伊講話，可能是台灣人頭家的後生，無就是請來的台灣人（嘛有可能請來的中國人店員，但是聽腔口無成）。

我點一項，少年家就用華語閣講一遍我點的菜名。「排骨飯」、「豆花」，溝通無問題，嘛無拖著伊的時間。

唯一出現的問題，是我咧點的時陣，後壁徛一位看起來敢若是頭家的台灣人，用台語對我講：「你愛對伊講國語，台語伊聽無啦！」

攏已經點完欲付錢矣，彼个台灣頭家閣喝一遍：「你愛對伊講國語，台語伊聽無啦！」

我笑面笑面對頭家講：「伊聽有啦，我按呢比，伊聽有。」繼續用台語付錢，少年家嘛照常應對，並無因為聽著台語就毋知愛按怎服務。

出外討趁，無法度轉去，想欲講幾句仔台語，定定拄著這種聽著就緊出來叫你莫講台語的台語人。哎！

Taiwan's Bilingual Policy is Doomed to Fail (2)

Indeed, language can be used to very effectively compete, defeat, and convince.

But do we need to encourage such uses?

(Of course, I believe most people would say no. But I think this is what the bilingual policy will ultimately do.)

Do we really need it when we see most English schools recruit students by saying, "Don't let native English-speakers laugh at your Chinglish" instead of saying, "Learn how to communicate effectively even with a limited English vocabulary"?

Do we really need it when we see in elementary schools' writing lessons the feedback we give focuses on how the article is WORDED instead of what ideas are being SHARED and how the logic behind them ANALYZED?

Even in conference interpreting classrooms, where "being the story-teller on behalf of the speaker" (i.e. COMMUNICATION) is, I believe, far more important than "sounding like a native English-speaker," it is not uncommon to see students spend more time neutralizing their Taiwanese accent and learning colloquial English expressions. And NO, in most cases it's not because they really mispronounce or misuse words so much the audience can't understand them.

It's this obsession with "beautiful language"--first it was "good Chinese" and then now it's "good English"--which obviously is a very powerful tool to compete, defeat, and convince, that has led to our failure in language education.

We might never be able to rid ourselves of biases towards different languages and their varieties, but we surely don't need a policy based on them.

Let go of this obsession with "good English." Replace it with "effective communication in languages (not just English!)." If you don't know what I mean, the 07:00-09:00 section of this Ted Talk provides a two-minute explanation with an excellent real-life example.

Yes, this will most likely remain as just my wishful thinking. But I believe that we should recognize that language, if it has any purpose at all, should be used to understand each other and embrace our differences in society.

Only then can we begin our very first step to make this island country of amazing diversity a place friendly to not only English but also its many native languages that are already dying.

多語台灣、英語友善！

我若是知名作家（Guá Nā-sī Ti-miâ Tsok-ka）

台文翻譯（台語發音）：

我若是知名作家，我就出一本有十種尾局的冊，攏提去付印，數量無仝。但是，我袂共遮的死忠讀者講。按呢，我就會當看in佇遐青疑（tshenn-gî），爭論故事到底是按怎煞尾的。等代誌煏空（piak-khang），我就出來「自首」，佮in講我其實有出十一个版本，看in閣一遍頭殼𢯾（mooh）咧燒，想欲揣出上尾一種結局（kiat-kio̍k）。

英文原文（連結）：

If I was a famous author I would publish a book with 10 different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagreed over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I will ‘come clean’ telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.

Taiwan's Bilingual Policy is Doomed to Fail

The Taiwanese government's effort to make the island a bilingual (i.e. English and Mandarin Chinese) nation by 2030 is doomed to fail.

And it won't be because we don't have enough resources such as English teachers or we are learning English the wrong way like not listening to more English--these are valid and important issues indeed, but they can be solved with relative ease. 

Not enough teachers? Pay more and hire better ones. 

Not enough language input? Make it compulsory that school kids listen to English for 30 minutes every day.

The real reason why our language education has failed (and will continue to beyond 2030) is that we have got so used to using language to gain power, to judge, and to earn a competitive edge that we have forgotten about the sole purpose of language.

That is why in Taiwan a fluent American accent impresses people more than an inspiring idea put in simple English does.

That is why in Taiwan speaking Chinese earns more respect than speaking Taiwanese does.

That is why in Taiwan Hakka-speakers, despite taking pride in their own cultural heritage, choose to educate their kids in Chinese.

That is why when an Amis, or anyone who belongs to any of Taiwan's indigenous groups--which traditionally doesn't use Chinese characters or even speak Chinese--register their real names in romanization, they get frowned upon.

Language is for communication. We all know it. We just don't do it. Saying it is like saying, "Be kind to people and they will be kind to you."

Language should--if it has any purpose at all--help us understand each other's thoughts and needs and feelings. And then we can use these shared understandings of differences to create a society that embraces more diversity and possibilities, which ultimately lead to more innovations, opportunities, and hopefully a better world. 

The bilingual policy, which literally aims to enhance Taiwan's competitiveness, will fail because the government will spend the tax-payers' money to encourage the younger generation to learn a foreign language to COMPETE, not to COMMUNICATE.

To defeat, not to cooperate.

To speak, not to listen.

To convince, not to understand.

台語文的規範（Tâi-gí-bûn ê Kui-huān）

我感覺這馬的台語文運動猶閣停佇「將台語當做外語來學」的階段，足濟人想欲像學國中英語仝款，揣出「標準文法」。但是實際生活中的語言佮課本教的無可能仝款。

教科書寫的規範性文法（prescriptive grammar）會當幫助咱維持語言的共通性，才袂一百个人講一百種話。有一定程度的規範，對語言的保存佮流通來講當然重要。

但是用描述性文法（descriptive grammar）去記錄語言實際上的用法佮變化，嘛仝款重要。包括英語、日語在內，足濟語言每十冬字典就會增加袂少新詞，甚至共已經啥咧用的詞刣掉。（若無，紙本的字典根本頁數無夠印！）

了解咱祖先的台語氣口，是復興台語足重要的一步。但是若是想欲予台語活轉來，變成生活中的自然語言，就愛接受語言的多樣性佮自然變化。

別个族群爭取權利（Pa̍t-ê Tso̍k-kûn Tsing-tshú Khuân-lī）

台文翻譯（台語發音）：

別个族群爭取著你一直享有的權利，你並無受著啥物壓迫（ap-pik）。

英文原文（連結）：

You're not being “oppressed” when another group gains rights that you've always had.